As I was laying on my yoga mat last night in the candlelight, I couldn’t shut my mind off. It was the end of the practice, the time where you are to lie there in perfect stillness and clear your mind of all the noise and clutter. The more I tried, the worse it got. I just kept thinking.
Something had been bothering me for a few days and it just kept getting louder in my mind until I suppose I could ignore it no longer. I have been conflicted with love. That’s right. Love.
I’m dishing it out all day long and some days, I feel like I’m not getting much in return. Ever feel like that? I was, and it kind of made me feel like I was being selfish.
But when I think back to the time when I was awaiting the birth of these little souls, was I obsessing about how much I was going to GET out of them? Umm…no! I only wanted to give them love. All of it.
So what has changed since then?
Well, I have. And it’s time to change back. It’s also time to be more awake to the love I am being given. Every day.
In the dark candlelit room with nothing to do but listen to my own thoughts, I finally did just that. I listened. And it was only after I listened, that I found the peace I had been struggling for.
I have been expecting more. Wanting more. And this want for more is blinding me to what is really there.
Love.
My children give it to me constantly with hugs, smiles, pats on my shoulder, artwork for my refrigerator, and little strings of words like,
“You’re the best mama I have ever had!”
Best they’ve ever had, huh? Well if that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
It’s all give and take. It all balances out if we can just stop measuring, and just give love.
Thanks for stopping by,
~Arlee, Small Potatoes
